Continuing in the Face of Failure

   I'll be the first to admit that I've failed many times so far in my life. I've failed to maintained relationships I cared about, unnecessarily failed classes in school, failed to think about my actions effecting those around me, failed at starting certain businesses for a plethora of reasons, failed to achieve many of my childhood goals, failed to be the good person my family knew I could be for a long time, failed to ever get on the good side of “luck”, and so far I've failed to find what people describe as true love. Fortunately, as sad and depressing as that all sounds, even with all these failures piled up from the past all it takes is one characteristic to outweigh and surpass them all.... Perseverance.

   I think we'd all like to be able to go back and do things over from time to time but we also know thats just not possible (outside of dreams). We all have to live with the saddled failures, losses, and regrets from the past. Unfortunately, because we are all human there will most likely be more of these in the future as well. For many of us every day brings new challenges that can leave you scratching your head wondering how to put it all together. We learn lessons the hard way, get stabbed in the back, make mistakes, say things we don't mean, and fall in love so fast sometimes it hurts. All of these things can drain you and leave you weary of wading through the incessant stream of problems. The catch 22 is, we have to keep moving or we can easily get swept away in it all. That's where perseverance comes into play and separates who makes it and who doesn't.

   In the memoirs of many successful businesspeople one can find a common trend. Many of them didn't always get it right the first time around! Most of the highly successful self-made people in the world have struggled through many trials and tribulations in their ascension, similar to those that you and I face everyday. They key amongst all of these people is that they didn't give up when they were told that they were crazy, it couldn't be done, or that no one would care if it was. When they failed or faced a setback they scrambled to overcome it and try again. It's the spirit of those people that were discouraged and downtrodden by their peers that allowed them to keep on going and eventually build our society and the world as we know it today.

   The future is impossible to foretell but one thing is guaranteed, it hasn't happened yet. Things may be tough right now but that doesn't mean they are going to stay that way forever. It also doesn't mean that they will automatically get better on their own. Contrary to popular media darlings like “The Secret” and “What the *bleep* do we know?” you can't just wish really hard for good things and then expect them to happen. Seriously, without the inhospitality of rain we couldn't enjoy the tranquility and beauty of flowers right? Well, like many things in nature, it's the same principle in life. I have to remind myself on a daily basis that everything I struggle for and believe in comes at the price of the struggle itself.

   If we want good things in life we have to fight for them. We have to suffer through bad days to get to the ones that make us realize how much life is really worth. We have to make mistakes to find out what the right answers really were. Our trust must be broken to find out how much it really means to us before we give it out freely again. And sadly, sometimes we also have to lose someone we love to realize how precious the others in our life are.

   These are not easy lessons to learn and anyone who tries to sell you happiness based on the fact that they are is simply lying to your face. The easy road to the top is reserved for a select few and the rest of us must work diligently to get there. The most important part in succeeding is that we continue on and keep persevering despite how we feel about it right now. Many of these lessons won't be useful right away and you may not see the bright side but somewhere down the road have faith that you will indeed find it. I can look back throughout my life now and pinpoint exact times, places, experiences, and people that have taught me incredibly valuable lessons at a painful price. When I was in the moment of feeling that pain I was confused and scared and acted accordingly which often leads to failure. These confused actions and failures are my building blocks for what not to do today.

   As I grow older I seem to get a little more rational and a little less reactionary to failure and bad situations. I attempt to understand it for what it is, try to accept it, and look for ways to learn from it and move forward. That doesn't mean that problems don't add up and weigh heavily on me at times. Thats why I write articles like this as a personal outlet. To not only work it out internally and encourage myself, but to relay it to others with the hope that maybe it sheds a little clarity on their own situations or helps them get by with just enough hope. Maybe it's also a little selfish instant gratification of seeing a bright light on a dim day but when someone emails me or messages me and tells me that my words of encouragement helped them to get through their own dark period, it makes it all worth it for me. Not only that, but it motivates me to find the meaning and purpose in my current struggles which is a key part to surviving the onslaught of life with your sanity intact. Dealing with a bunch of meaningless setbacks and failures can be incredibly disheartening and drive you crazy by asking the infamous “Why me?!” question. I've found that in the end, it all means something. The answer to why me is; it's always you because you're the one experiencing it.

   Good, bad, or indifferent our struggles and hardships in life give us the character that makes us unique. Finding a reason to continue to fight these battles is imperative if your goal is to better yourself and make it through life stronger and wiser than those around you. Purpose and meaning in life can come in any shape or form. Love, relationships, children, animals, music, art, hobbies, learning, reading, writing, and (if you're careful) your career or company, can all hold meaning and purpose. Just remember, rarely are you truly alone in your struggle and it could always be worse. No matter how desperate times may seem, or how much you fail, you can always make it better with perseverance and by dedicating yourself to what you love and care about. The pain and heartache IS worth it in the long run, you just gotta hold on and ride out the storm! Don't be afraid of life, embrace every aspect of it! After all is said and done, we're only privileged to experience any given moment once...

         John

Recognizing Your Accomplishments

I’m the type of person that will have a conversation with anyone. I like to get to know people because they motivate and inspire me. Movies tell stories of glory, triumph, and heartache but never with the reality and conviction of looking into someone’s eyes and seeing determination and heartfelt passion about something in life. The struggles, the success, the failures, and the lessons learned from them, all culminate to make us who we are and everyone has a unique story. All the time I hear of people surviving horrible conditions, heart wrenching stories of loss, and incredible hardships while smiling and persevering for a bigger cause.

                The story varies from person to person but the feeling of noble accomplishment is the same when you achieve a personal triumph or goal. Take a minute to think about something in your past that moves you deeply that you have accepted and/or overcome. Embrace that feeling of breathing free knowing you did what you set out to do, despite what the world told you or how it tried to stop you. Your accomplishments and aspirations represent the best of who you are. Remind yourself of these personal triumphs at every tough point in the road. Whether you think you’re at a low or not, whatever you’re dealing with, it can be conquered and can become another building block in the person you wish to be. If you don’t believe me think about what you’ve already done.

                Maybe you grew up with nothing and have built yourself into something you always wanted to be. Maybe you’re a single parent raising the most amazing kids in the world when people told you that you’d never make a good mother or father. Maybe you beat alcoholism or drug addiction when the people around you told you it couldn’t be done and you shouldn’t even bother trying. Maybe you finally got the courage to leave an abusive or unworthy lover you felt stuck with for whatever reason. Maybe you had to raise brothers or sisters cause you’re parents couldn’t, shouldn’t, or wouldn’t. Maybe you went from homeless to buying a new home. Maybe life blindsides you with every sucker punch from every direction in the book but you still keep waking up everyday ready to take it. Whatever your story is, look at your accomplishment(s)!

                The scars of days past and internal tears seem to pale in comparison to the feeling of pride deep down inside for what you do, what you’ve done, or who you are. Everything that defines the best of your character comes from the moments when you push yourself past your comfort threshold to do something significant in your life. When you’re faced with a challenge you’re intimidated by, think back to your accomplishments of the past. You were just as nervous, just as scared, just as excited then. Nothing has changed! Never doubt yourself, because you still have the power to do everything you ever did and more. You just have to look back and remind yourself of the mountains you’ve climbed to get where you are, and when you look back at what’s in front of you, it becomes a relative mole hill. All it takes many times in simply to have faith in yourself and what you believe in. Believe that you can get what you dream about. Believe there is love out there for you. Believe that there is hope left to be found. Believe that there are people out there that care, or will care!

Think of life like a roller coaster, not for the ups and downs, but for the anticipation and anguish you feel in line while you contemplate what’s ahead with mixed feelings. Those feelings melt into sheer exhilaration and excitement once you step on and go. The ride is amazing and then feelings of happiness, satisfaction, and elevation from conquering your silly fears arrive when it’s all over. Looking back, it’s not a problem to get in line again and give it a shot because you know you can do it and you know how rewarding it was. It’s the same principle with taking action in life. Use your triumphs to not only define your character, but to spur yourself to take action and be whatever you want to be. Live your dream, confess your love, play it safe or take a chance. It doesn’t matter just believe in yourself every second of the way. Don’t forget how far you’ve come! Give yourself some credit and be brave about whatever you’re facing! You’ll look back on it someday and wonder why you were ever worried!

Hope it helps and I hope you all enjoy the Blogger Picture! Don’t forget to hit the like button, give a thumbs up on your stumbleupon bar, or share the blog with your friends! Thanks!